Sunday, January 28, 2007

16 Hours, 7 Days, 16 weeks

That's right, that's the numbers of hours I've worked each day this past week followed by the number of days I've worked this week, followed by the number of weeks this is going to be going on for continuously. THAT'S CRAZY!

But then this is the price of that mid-career crisis come promotion. Only about four more weeks before this madness ends. And I'm hoping to make it until then.

Oh why, oh why did I take the promotion?

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Brothers and Sisters

ABC has a new series called Brothers & Sisters. I had largely ignored the show when it first started, but then word got out that one of the lead characters is gay, and his potential boyfriend was just HOT, I figured why not watch for the eye candy. But now I'm hooked.

The show is great! And watching tonight's drama unfold, I wished that my parents would have had more children. There is just myself and my baby brother. We're both gay. It's not a bad thing -- I think it's kinda lucky of us to have each other for support in that sense. But I wish we could have had a few more. (Yes, we could have had a 3rd sibling, but there was a miscarriage.)

In some senses, it would be fun to have another sibling to banter. It would be fun to have another sibling living in a totally different city to visit. It would be great to be able to move around the "parental care" responsibilities among three siblings.

I look at my father and his 3 sisters and sometimes wonder what it was like for him to have 3 sisters to communicate with when things get tough. But he's your classic alpha male -- quiet with bottled-up emotions. I look at my mother and her 6 siblings and their house-full of kids. She speaks to them all the time. I can certainly see which ones she gets along with when they are all together at the family reunions. And sometimes, I wonder if I would have enjoyed that experience. Don't get me wrong; I like the baby bro just fine, but what if...

Well it's too late for Mom to have any more kids. She's hit menopause. Yep, I had the misfortune of having to discuss life after menopause with her a few months past. Afterall, she has no daughters to talk to, and she doesn't visit the doctor regularly. In some ways, I'm glad that she and I can have that sort of intimate conversation. Now I am just waiting for my father to have the ED or prostate exam conversation with me. I mean why not? We're family and well my brother just gets squeemish when it comes to those topics.

As for me, do I want kids? Initially, I had the idea that I would perhaps have 1 or 2 children if my future husband wanted them. I love kids, but I know the responsibilities, and I know I'm not ready for them. Two would be the perfect number, enough to replace us when we're gone and not add to the population explosion. But now, I'm beginning to wonder if 2 is a mistake. I mean if you're going to dedicate your life to building a family with kids, you might as well leave them with a big network of family with which to draw their support when we're gone and also the ability to spread the responsibility of our care in the twilight years.

It's a tough question.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

On New Years Resolutions

So I made the resolutions. And well I've made a few small dents.

1. Plastic Surgery. Nothing yet. I haven't looked into it.
2. Lose Body Fat. I've made it back to the gym exactly once since the New Year. I chuck it up to being very busy at work and overly stressed out. I've already called out sick 1 day because I was too stressed and the body just shut down. No it's not a nervous breakdown. I just need sleep, and to take work off the mind.
3. Swim instructor. I haven't even gone to look for one just yet. I did interview one a while back, and well he was okay.
4. Patience. I'm making progress. But I think I'm getting stressed out because I'm bottling my emotions.
5. Clutter. It's still here. And collecting dust.
6. Save up for a house. I've started socking away a little more money each month. And I've started looking into various stock investment opportunities, taking into account Warren Buffet's investment advice: Invest in things that people still need in a down economy, like groceries.
7. Dating. I've looked folks. And it's a sad scene out there. Match.com has been doing a series of TV commercials regarding their look for free initiative. And well I've spotted maybe one person I think there might be something there. Craiglists is not working out. I've emailed a few folks that seems interesting and despite what they say, it really does all come down to physical attraction. So back up to numbers 1 and 2 before this one can happen.

Monday, January 01, 2007

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!

Exactly one year ago today, I started this blog hoping to be provide some discourse on all things. But somehow, life got a hold of me and well the postings were sporadic and so wide in scope that really no audience ever developed. So in the new year, I'll try to post more often, and on topics of interest to someone -- I don't know what that topic is just yet.

Other resolutions for the new year:
1. Plastic surgery. That's right folks, I've been thinking about having some work done to remove the scars on my face and make it look a little more youthful. Being gay and average looking is tough!
2. Lose some bodyfat. That's right folks, you didn't hear the word weight. I gain muscle very easily, but I need to lose about 2 inches off my waist and an 1 or so off the chest.
3. Get a swim instructor. It's more or less to achieve number 2 and also to finally learn how to swim properly.
4. Become more patient. I've come a long way since last year, but there is still more work to be done.
5. Get rid of the clutter. Okay, I'm a pack rat. I have things from 1996 that are still packed in boxes and have moved with me to 3 different cities and 6 different apartments. Do I really need the Mardi Gras beads from 1998. Yes, it's full of memories! And that date book planner from 1998. Do I really need it anymore? I'm sure none of those phone numbers really work anymore. It's emotional to let go. We'll see how far that goes.
6. Save up for a house. The market doesn't look any better this year, but I ginally make enough now to save up for a house, and I should start!
7. Hit the dating circuit again. This one was a tough one to put on this list. For 2 years, I've focused on my career and haven't really dated anyone. I'm also a commitment phoebe. It's a low priority. And notice it does not state find a boyfriend or settle down. But I think number 1 should go first, it'll help this one along.

So long for now.