Instant Gratification

What is it about instant gratification these days?

I had a most chipper conversation with a friend on the phone today about dating, courtship, and sex.

Everything is so instant these days! It's about as cheap as ramen noodles.

I on the other hand prefer things to gestate. What happened to the days when you met someone, found him interesting, made an effort to get to know him, ask him out on a date, date him a while and some time later, finally have sex? Why does it have to be instant physical attraction, sex on a the first date, and then ask questions later?

This is the reason why 2 of my close friends are having the relationship problems they now face. The initial physical attraction was fierce. The sex was earth-shattering (or rather bed-breaking). But neither really got to know each other's core values. Each other's goals in life. And now both have suffered. They're emotionally empty. Broken. Miserable.

I'm not doing much better. I'm still single. But then again, I don't feel that I've wasted the past few months and years with someone that didn't work out.

Thoughts?

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Finished! I picked up a copy of the book at 12:50am from Walmart. No lines. And it was only $17.99 plus tax. The cover price was $34.99.

Between Saturday morning and Monday night, I snucked in all the reading time I could afford -- in the car on trips to the stores, bathroom breaks.

The storyline was great! And it'll make a great movie! But please we need a better director than this last movie, the Order of the Phoenix. There were a few bits that could have been edited for repetition. There were lots of references to previous books that I could have done without. And there were more references to previous parts of the same book.

Overall, a good read; a fast read!

To Undo the Ex

Many years ago, I met this guy. I was not particularly attracted to him -- he had none of the features I admire in a man: blue eyes, blond hair, nerdy air. NONE.

Over the course of the next few months, we went from being mentor/mentee to being acquaintances and then best friends. And somewhere along the line, I became attracted to his quirks, his strong jawline, his panache, his cooking. I had fallen for him for all the right reasons. Time would not fade our relationship nor add pesky wrinkles. Alas, he was not out. He was not yet comfortable with himself, and certainly the idea of dating his best friend was too scary. We continued as friends, but grew increasingly more intimate. It was like a high school relationship: each coyly learning about the other's intimate side.

And then it all ended. It was not working for me nor him. We were in different places emotionally. I wanted a steady boyfriend and settle in on couple-dom. He wanted someone to show him the world and let him take detours. I was not Aladdin, and he was not the princess.

Fast forward 5 years later. We have found our way back to each other as best friends. We giggle about odd things. I still flirt with him in the most inappropriate ways at the most inane of places. We don't live in the same city anymore. We visit each other when the opportunity presents itself. We stay with each other and share a bed. And I tease him about the relationship that could have been. He could have been my Mrs and stayed at home to take care of the cooking and cleaning, and the children (all his most favorite chores).

The question is, would our relationship be better now if we got back together. Never mind the logistics of not living in the same state. But what if?

Older Men

I have a thing for guys with gray hair -- just a little silver fox sliver, or the salt and pepper effect.

During the Pride Dance last week, I bumped into a guy that had the most beautiful, kind eyes, and the best salt and pepper hair. And his body, still buff!

I have to confess, I have a thing for older men. For me, it's the maturity first. I've already experienced coming out, coming to terms with being gay, and growing up in general. When I meet a man, I want him to have already go through all of that, and be mature enough to enjoy life for it's many splendid surprises. Granted, age is not the determining factor in this maturity -- I know men who are just coming out at age 40 after having been married with kids!

As geeky as it may sound, I want to date a classic liberal arts professor. He's interested in the world around him and often wonders what-if, what-may, what-was. He engages his surroundings with passion. He sees one thing and is inspired to do something about another.

Here's to finding him before too long.

When You're Hot!

Seriously! I just got another raise and a small promotion.

Those of you who have been reading my blog loyally, know that my career has had it's share of roller coaster dramas. I've nearly quit. I've nearly been run out of the company. And now, I'm back, bigger, stronger, and with more pay.