To Undo the Ex
Many years ago, I met this guy. I was not particularly attracted to him -- he had none of the features I admire in a man: blue eyes, blond hair, nerdy air. NONE.
Over the course of the next few months, we went from being mentor/mentee to being acquaintances and then best friends. And somewhere along the line, I became attracted to his quirks, his strong jawline, his panache, his cooking. I had fallen for him for all the right reasons. Time would not fade our relationship nor add pesky wrinkles. Alas, he was not out. He was not yet comfortable with himself, and certainly the idea of dating his best friend was too scary. We continued as friends, but grew increasingly more intimate. It was like a high school relationship: each coyly learning about the other's intimate side.
And then it all ended. It was not working for me nor him. We were in different places emotionally. I wanted a steady boyfriend and settle in on couple-dom. He wanted someone to show him the world and let him take detours. I was not Aladdin, and he was not the princess.
Fast forward 5 years later. We have found our way back to each other as best friends. We giggle about odd things. I still flirt with him in the most inappropriate ways at the most inane of places. We don't live in the same city anymore. We visit each other when the opportunity presents itself. We stay with each other and share a bed. And I tease him about the relationship that could have been. He could have been my Mrs and stayed at home to take care of the cooking and cleaning, and the children (all his most favorite chores).
The question is, would our relationship be better now if we got back together. Never mind the logistics of not living in the same state. But what if?
Over the course of the next few months, we went from being mentor/mentee to being acquaintances and then best friends. And somewhere along the line, I became attracted to his quirks, his strong jawline, his panache, his cooking. I had fallen for him for all the right reasons. Time would not fade our relationship nor add pesky wrinkles. Alas, he was not out. He was not yet comfortable with himself, and certainly the idea of dating his best friend was too scary. We continued as friends, but grew increasingly more intimate. It was like a high school relationship: each coyly learning about the other's intimate side.
And then it all ended. It was not working for me nor him. We were in different places emotionally. I wanted a steady boyfriend and settle in on couple-dom. He wanted someone to show him the world and let him take detours. I was not Aladdin, and he was not the princess.
Fast forward 5 years later. We have found our way back to each other as best friends. We giggle about odd things. I still flirt with him in the most inappropriate ways at the most inane of places. We don't live in the same city anymore. We visit each other when the opportunity presents itself. We stay with each other and share a bed. And I tease him about the relationship that could have been. He could have been my Mrs and stayed at home to take care of the cooking and cleaning, and the children (all his most favorite chores).
The question is, would our relationship be better now if we got back together. Never mind the logistics of not living in the same state. But what if?
posted by Clue Lessness at 11:51 PM
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