Sunday, October 15, 2006

On Weddings

The wedding.

A few weekends back, I attended my dear cousin C's wedding. We're not very close, but I flew two thousand miles to attend because I hadn't seen that side of the family in over 18 months. I miss my other cousins -- many of them are in their late adolescences and seeing them develop into young adults was very pleasing. Over the years, I've only lived a handful of days with each one, but we exchange emails and phone calls on occassion, so I really cherish the time I get with them. I only have one sibling, so my interaction with them fills desire that my parents would have had more children.

The flight was delayed a few hours, so the Friday night festivities were laid aside. The ceremony was 9am the next morning and my plane did not arrive until 3am -- a full 5 hours after the scheduled time. During the lull between the morning ceremony and the evening reception, all the boys and I went out for male-bonding time. That's right, just the boys. There aren't that many of us to begin with -- cousins A & J are the only two males among a score of women. So we did what boys did best: drink, curse, and play video games for 5 hours straight. We got so into it that all three of us were late to the reception (barely making it in time for the family photos). During most of the night, the three of us simply goofed off and enjoyed the company of the rest of the girls. And of course, the invitable came up: when will I have a wedding so that all the relatives can fly south and see my family homestead (They still have this vision of my growing up on a ranch and riding horses.). My answer: never.

The way I see it weddings are a waste of money. It's more of a social status. Everyone wants to out-do the person before with better decor, outfits, food, drinks, flowers. And of course the size of the guest list. I've already done a quick count: 305 (and growing) just for my blood relatives alone. Where will I find room for friends, my partner's family, and his friends? Any honestly, with so many guests, can you really get to interact with everyone?

So here's my game plan if I ever get to have a wedding. Location: rent out an entire exotic island for 1 week. Decor: island casual, no gowns, no tux, no shoes, and heck, maybe no shirts (but yes to the pants for obvious reasons). Food: everything from the ocean and the garden. Why? This will limit the number of guests to just couples, no kids (this is key -- they make weddings messy), and only folks who can afford to fly away for a whole week (I'll house you on the island in huts for free.). And since this is a beach wedding, hopefully no one will have to fuss over a new and expensive evening get-up. We'll be in white board shorts (and if the torso holds up, no shirt!) -- let's hope the future partner agrees to this wardrobe choice. And the food, well it's an exotic island, so the seafood should be cheap and fresh, and the fruits should be abudant and in season.

And best of all, we save money on the honeymoon. No one will be able to hear us from our remote lover's suite -- I'm not a screamer, and if he is, I'm throwing a pillow over his face.